Twenty Years in the Making

They say nothing good is ever built overnight. "Rome wasn't built in a day" and like any good thing its ingredients must consist of effort, persistence, consistency and time. I think on these things as I turn a new chapter in my life that our ordinary days become extraordinary days when we build our lives with the right things.

Ordinary days become extraordinary days when we build our lives with the right things

As I get a little older, I'm becoming a little more nostalgic. All signs point to the fact that I'm aging, yet I still feel so much vigor for life. I'm not satisfied even still with where I am at. In fact, I still consider myself a young person just barely discovering the purpose of God for my life. Its exciting!

2015 marks several new milestones for me. This year will be 20 years since I've graduated from high school. It marks the beginning of a new age of parenting as we have our first teenager in the house come July. In August, my husband and I celebrate 15 years of marriage. Just saying these numbers reinforcing the reality how quickly days turn into years.

How quickly days turn into years

My hubby and I can hardly believe how quickly times flies. My oldest child is eye level, and I'm barely hanging on to be taller than him. It doesn't bother me that probably by summer, he'll be passing me up because I'll always be his mother, and pretty sure the fire in me could always whoop him if needed. Just kidding, but its a new season as I look back, I realize the journey is worth celebrating. Its take a lot of blood, sweat, tears and effort, and what we have doesn't happen on our own. With the grace of God, we have come a long way!

With the grace of God, we have come a long way!

May 19th has a special place in our heart because 20 years to the day, my husband and I had our first date! That set us on a course of dating for three years that led to a proposal, a ring, 2 years of engagement, a wedding, parenthood and a wonderful life together. 20 years summed up just like that has a lot to say, holds many memories, and we felt the beginning is worth celebrating.

The beginning can seem like the most exciting time. I think back to when Michael & I started dating. The attraction, the phone calls, going places together, it was intoxicating to fall in love. Yet, that kind of love, isn't what has kept us together all these years. Its been a lot of prayer, forgiveness, learning, understanding, and unconditional love. Its these efforts that have lead to success.

It was intoxicating to fall in love

It was fun to look back though and remember how it all started. The phone call that lead to our first date. I remember asking his best friend, Dan, one day in school who Michael was going to prom with and dropping a 'hint' that I'd love to go with him. In fact, I had it determined in my mind that if he didn't ask me, I was going to ask him! I think I would have too. I didn't want to miss the opportunity! I knew a good thing when I saw it!

I knew a good thing when I saw it!

This week, my husband and I traveled back to our beginning place, our first date, Zoe prom at an endearing dinner theatre in Northville, and there we reminisced over dinner about the beginning. The phone call, what we wore, what car he drove to pick me up, who rode with with us to prom, where we parked, what the play was about, did we eat before or after, where did we sit. Things we hadn't thought about or really talked about in quite awhile. I even found a picture from that day, and had my Dad print it out for us. It was fun to see how much we have changed! You forget what life looks and feels like at seventeen!

We reminisced over dinner about the beginning

Seventeen had very little cares or worries. We talked about that over dinner as we sat outside a little banquet room where a high school group was celebrating their year of accomplishments. We laughed as we asked ourselves, "Did we know what we were getting ourselves into?" No, probably not. The greatest laugh of the night came from looking at all the leftovers on our table. It was a seven course, family style meal with way too much food leftover. Twenty years ago, we wouldn't have even thought of taking the food home. We were at prom, but my husband said he was thinking lunch for tomorrow. Oh how life has changed!

But really it was good to look back and remember how it all began. An attraction that lead to love built on the foundation of God that has helped weather the seasons of life. I'm so grateful. Though so far from perfect, I wouldn't change a bit of the journey for it has lead me to now and a bright future.

An attraction that lead to love built on the foundation of God that has helped weather the seasons of life.

I penned a poem that I read to my husband at the end of the night that captured my thoughts looking back and looking ahead with great anticipation. I'm so in love with this man and grateful for the twenty years in the making.

Twenty years of laughter

Began with one date

You asked me out to prom

And I couldn't wait

Who knew that twenty years ago

One date would lead to another

A ring, a wedding

Then making me a mother

In life there's many seasons

Some more difficult than others

Twenty years has a way 

Of teaching you about another

Twenty years of holding hands

And walking this road together

I know with every step

You've made me all the better

So hello twenty years

We celebrate you today

We made it, we conquered

We look back and say

Twenty years in the making

God knew it from the start

I look forward to the rest of my life

And loving you with all my heart

Dedicated to my amazing husband, Michael, who has become my life partner and has loved me with an unconditional love. Forever grateful!

A Mother's Day Mess

There are no ordinary days….and then there are days….you know the ones that surprise you, startle you, reveal the mess of your emotions, and that's what Mother's Day was like for me this year. My mind had been musing these past few days on a blog post I wanted to write to honor of my mother. She passed away three years ago, and each year I do things in her memory. My intentions were to compile a list on how her legacy lives on, but pain took over and with it came a surprising perspective.

It all started with the morning scroll. Yes, I was doing the Facebook thing…seeing all the pictures posted with everyone and their mom. The news feed was full of them, and a wave of sorrow just flooded me. I couldn't control the tears as reality revealed the pain of knowing she was no longer with us. So many life events she wouldn't be a part of. No current pictures to show of the two of us. How my heart hurt. The pain was real.

A wave of sorrow just flooded me….the pain was real

I'm usually not an emotional person, at least in the crying sense, but I stepped into the shower and couldn't contain it any longer. I wept. Tears of sorrow. I told God "I need you to love on me today cause I'm hurting. I'm missing my mom so deeply, and the pain is just too real. The reality hurts. Please love on me today. I need you to love me." Its not that I doubted HIS love. I just needed to be overtaken in it.

'Please love on me today...'

I'm so grateful I can be vulnerable like that with God because its hard for me to be that way with many people, and He whispered back "I have brought many people to love on you. Let them." So, I continued the rest of the morning getting ready. Sprayed a dash of my mother's perfume when my husband came in shortly after. He noticed right away and said "That's your Mom's perfume I smell." I broke down crying again. Ugggh…too many tears. I shared my heart with him as he wrapped his arms around me and embraced my pain.

We drove to church. Upon arrival, I couldn't make it in the building. More tears. "No one needs to see me this way," I thought. I'm sad. I'm broken. In perfect timing, I received a text from a friend "Happy Mother's Day to my very best amazing friend! So blessed by you and I know your family is too".

Another moment of love. Thank you God. I texted her back with thanks for our lifelong friendship and shared it was a rough morning. She embraced my pain even though she couldn't imagine and said something so profound "Celebrating you and your mom today because there is so much of her in you and your kids." I pulled myself together and walked into church grateful even when broken.

Celebrating you and your Mom today because there is so much of her in you and your kids.

Service has started and worship had begun…so very bittersweet, yet healing as we sang the words "You're a good, good Father. Its who You are. Its who You are. And I'm loved by You….its who I am. Its who I am". Worship in His presence was medicine to my soul as I offered a sacrifice of praise in the midst of pain. More love, yes love in the midst of worship.

Worship in His presence was medicine to my soul

It was shortly after that time of worship that I began to look around and see people. Not through my eyes, but His. I was seeing other people's stories, remembering they too had pain, sorrow and grief. It was as if the Holy Spirit was giving me a list of those who I should reach out to and love on today. Galations 6:2 says to 'Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.' The Lord was repositioning my eyes from my own pain and refocusing them on others. I agreed to the list He gave me and made time to reach out to those people. The most powerful reality hit me that as I loved on others in their pain, I too was being ministered in my pain. God makes beauty from our ashes. I love His ways.

The Lord was repositioning my eyes from my own pain and refocusing them on others.

Service concluded, and God wasn't done with me yet. Here comes God with a human hand...another overwhelming moment of love as a sweet lady from church surprised me with the most beautiful, unexpected gift. She sat me down and poured into me words of appreciation I didn't expect to hear. I cried. The ugly cry and thanked her. I told her I was having an emotional day, and she wrapped her arms around to love on me.

Here comes God with a human hand

Her thoughtfulness to think of me on this day was God's love wrapped in this gorgeous box decorated with handmade repurposed coffee bag remnants from our business made into ribbon and tastefully adorned with beautiful golden, pearl like buttons. Thoughtful, inspiring, I didn't even need to open it as just the gesture was enough, but we continued to share the moment together as I carefully opened the box from one end.

God's love wrapped in this gorgeous box

Out came a gift I will forever treasure displaying the legacy of my family. A wooden cutting board that had been inscribed with the date of my wedding anniversary, the letter F, our family name, Flosky, and then each of our first names. What a perfect reminder of the life I had been blessed with. I couldn't be more grateful as I hugged and thanked her over and over. God's love overwhelming me once again.

I learned so much from this day. A day that seemed to begin so painfully. A day that at first I wondered how I would make it through, but God's loving faithfulness took over and here's what I takeaway:

• God is faithful. His promises are true. He meets us in our most vulnerable place. As I opened my heart to Him, he came in and picked up the broken pieces
• God is one step ahead. He knew what the day would bring and made provisions to meet me in this day.
• God never intended for us to walk through this life alone. He brings us people to hold our hands, uplift our arms and embrace us in our deepest time of need.
• God wants to use our pain to minister to others. Your pain can be a testimony and encouragement to others who are hurting. Take the journey with others. Don't walk it alone.
• God is love. Its His nature, its His core, its who He is and I am so very loved by Him. Its who I am and what He wants me to be….love.

As I reflect back on this mess of a not so ordinary day, I'm grateful for the journey that is teaching me so much. Grateful to God for His love. Grateful for the people He has brought into my life. I'm truly overwhelmed.

To my mother, Joanne, words can describe how deeply I miss you. I appreciate you more now than I ever have before. I can't wait to see you again. Forever in my heart. 

#tbt blog….worth the reminder

This is a #tbtblog as I recall a note I wrote on Facebook three years ago, a memorable day that opened my eyes as God gently spoke through a sweet moment. This also is where I began using the phrase "There Are No Ordinary Days" and now its become my blog title. Enjoy as this moment still sits sweetly in my heart…..


Today seemed like an ordinary day. I set out with Jaden & Tessa to make a quick run to the fruit market and a drive thru pick up of coffee and a donut from our local Tim Hortons. This day like most was full of things to prepare, divide and conquer. However, this morning, Jaden was insistent that he did not want his donut at home. I knew what that meant. He wanted to go inside. Ok, we'll go in. I'll let him feast his eyes on the array of morning goodies and pick one to take with us. Sprinkled, he selected. No surprise. Getting out the door wasn't going to happen either, Jaden had decided in his mind that today he wanted to stay and eat too. 

This day like most was full of things to prepare, divide and conquer.

Jaden found the perfect seat, and as we began to sit down, someone called my name. "Carolyn". I turned to a familiar face of a older gentlemen sitting down the way. We walked over to say hello and make some small talk. The thought crossed my mind that maybe we should sit with him, but what would we talk about and would he even want us to? Besides its a two person table, and there were 4 of us. Reasonable in mind, I dimissed the idea as quickly as possible as I began to make my way back to our table. But Jaden had just made a new friend, so without hesitation, he climbed up and sat down. No concern that there was no room for mommy or his sister. Here we go. I moved our coffee and donut over and found a chair to pull up for me. I sat and held Tessa.


How sweet. How uncomfortable. Now what would we talk about? Well, this brought a smile to the gentlemen as he proceeded to tell me "this" had become his morning routine. Coffee and a muffin. You see he had lost his wife a year and half ago after 47 years of marriage. I listened to him talk about what he was doing to now to stay busy. For his wife had been his life, and now it was like starting all over. Coffee, walks at the beach, concerts at the outdoor mall, he was now putting himself out there to meet people, make friends and have that human connection.

Jaden, my boy, had no concept of feeling insecure, inadequate or uncomfortable. He sat and made the best conversation any three year could make. It was endearing. In fact, he made sure to walk around that restaurant saying hello to all the others there as well. He told them his name, his age, that he was getting big. Answered questions to the delight of the people. It was amazing and eye opening to me all at the same time.

It was amazing and eye opening to me all at the same time.

God had used Jaden today to open his mommy's eyes and to be a blessing to many others. His smile, his friendliness, his genuine love for life and willing to stop and engage with others was refreshing. We didn't stay long, but long enough for God to just whisper how precious days are and more importantly how precious people are.

Sometimes we need to just slow down, be willing to get a little uncomfortable, but most of all smile, love and extend some genuine friendliness.  As we made our way out to the car, my heart was full. I said to my son, "Jaden, you are awesome" in which he replied "Yep, I'm awesome". I laughed and knew that it was true, but more importantly how awesome God is in using any willing vessel even a 3 year old boy. It blessed this mommy's heart.

Three years later, this lesson still sits in my heart, and God continues to whisper 'There are no ordinary days'. Let Him use you today!