It's Mother's Day weekend....Time To Choose Happy

Happy Mother's Day Weekend!

The weekend is gearing up, and the preparations are beginning for brunches, lunches, sales and get togethers. It will be plastered all over social media, in every store cause who doesn't need a reason to shop and ringing through the hearts of most American homes.

Though it's a great time of joy for many, it also can bring an abundant amount of sorrow for others.

Bittersweet would be my interpretation. On one hand, I have five beautiful, healthy children and am married to an amazing man. Yet, I miscarried twice and lost my mother to cancer almost six years ago. A heartache that never seems to go away.

I realize while some can relate others cannot. There are those who have lost children, are childless, estranged relationships, never married, single mothers, grandparents raising children...our stories are all different, but I believe our hope is all the same.

Our hope is that we will be joyful in the journey of life. We all want to feel a sense of fulfillment, love, joy and contentment in our days, and that is my prayer for you as you read this. No matter the condition of your heart, season, current experience or past disappointments, I pray that you can find joy in your journey. 

Natalie Grant describes it best in her lyrics "Perfect People"

There's no such thing as perfect people
There no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed, and be changed
By a perfect God

One of the biggest challenges we face in our society is comparison. It lies and tells us that others have a better life, and that we have gotten the short end of the stick. Social media doesn't help with all the posts and pictures. While I am a fan of Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, I love to post my highlights, there is a realization of the illusion that we don't have enough or our life is some how coming up short.

Can I challenge you to look beyond your now and take a few steps towards joy this weekend and apply some simple tools to your future days?

1. Give your heart to God, completely
Regardless of the current condition, ugly, broken, hurting, happy
I have found no safer place to bring my most deepest intimate thoughts but into God's hands.
Tell Him how you feel, be real and invite Him to heal those broken spaces.
He is the Healer, Restorer and Great Comforter 

2. Check your thoughts
It's easy to swim in our emotions, bask in our grief and stay in our sorrow. While there is a season for mourning, it is not our final destination. We must choose to change our focus and that starts with our thoughts. What is going on in that play by play in your mind? It is a repeat of negative emotions and disappointing experiences?

If all we dwell on is what hurts, then that's all we see. Similar to when a a child falls down, and gets a scrap. At that moment, the pain is screaming. We do our best to nurse the wound, fix the scrap and repair what's hurting. Yet, the best is when we see them get back up and try again. Friend, you need to do the same. Get back up and live again.

Can I challenge you to begin to think differently? Think about what you do have. Find something positive. It may begin with the very breath that you breathe. There is something good friend. Find it. Rehearse it, and if need be write it down. Tell yourself over and over again about these positive things and train your mind to begin to think positive. Every time the past begins to creep back in, pause, replace with a happy thought. You'll be surprised how that will change your countenance. 

3. Take a step towards positivity 
Positivity is a choice and not always an easy one. However, light comes when we breathe happy into our dark experiences.
For me, it has been reaching out to others. Sending a card. Encouraging someone else. Doing coffee with a friend, lunch or purchasing a gift that I know will make them smile. Plan your positivity.

Life isn't meant to be all about you. Its meant to be lived out giving and serving others. So this weekend, find a way to reach out and encourage another. Don't want for someone to encourage you. BE the encourager! It s a new way to live and honestly it will make your happier.

4. Smile and Laugh
You are the only one who can control your joy. Allow yourself to be happy again. Give yourself permission. It will not erase the pain, but does allow you to live again. It allows you to breathe again, and it gives permission to enjoy this very imperfect life.

Life is a journey, full of ups, downs and every which way. Its unpredictable. Yet what we learn from it, determines our future. Sow into your future and see bright days ahead!

I'm looking forward to the weekend. I've got plans with my family. A wonderful brunch to look forward to and a movie night out with girlfriends.

I even put a collage of pictures together of my mother earlier in the week to remind me of how much she influenced my life. The seeds she planted in me are now a garden in my heart to be transplanted into my children, family, friends and lives around. While it brought some tears, they were happy tears. These are pictures of good days, and good days are still ahead.

Choose happy friends. Choose happy!

A Mother's Love

Sweet little kisses

Tiny little toes

The joy we celebrate

In watching babies grow

Each of our children

Gifts from above

Filling our lives with

So much love

From walking to talking

First day at school

To homework and bath time

And teaching the rules

Its not always easy

Some days are just hard

We worry, we scurry

And often feel tired

But mom, don't you fret

You're doing just fine

Your goal is not perfection

Its savoring the time

Special little moments

To warm their hearts

Your constant presence

And being who you are

Is what children want

And nothing less

Just giving your all

Trying your best

For days go by quickly

Faster than we wish

We can't slow down time

And we sure could miss

The moments that matter

Of connecting our hearts

To the ones God gave us

Our wisdom to impart 

So on this Mother's Day

Know that you are enough

You are celebrated

You are loved

For a measure of grace

Has been planted in your heart

Water the seed of love

And it won't depart

No matter where they go

No matter where they've been

You'll always be the one

They'll remember when

They look back on the years

In your gentle care

Basking in the memories

And recalling you there

Through good times 

Bad times, happy and sad

You are the constant

No matter the seasons they had

A picture of Jesus

A hand to hold

For a mother's love

Is worth far more than gold

Celebrating today all the mothers who have walked through the unwritten rules of motherhood. You are enough. You are loved, and you are making a difference.

To my mother, Joanne, you are one of life's greatest treasures ever given to me. May my life reflect just a measure of the wonderful mother you were. Remembering your love and knowing that you are celebrated in heaven!

When It All Comes Crashing Down

Seven years to the day, our world seemed to come crashing down. What should have been a day filled with fond memories ended in a scar seared day.

See seven years ago to the day, our son Ethan who was 7 at the time, had a front heavy, 200 lb television fall on his head. What began with a joyful, fun day at Greenfield village riding Thomas the train ended with a 911 call, an ambulance ride to not 1 but 2 hospitals, a skull fracture, broken eye orbital and emergency surgery.

It was one of the most terrifying days of our lives. One that even as I type, the emotions flood back to the pain, the horror and the fear we felt. Hearing my son scream from the basement, yelling "Jesus" as I rolled the television off his head to see a pool of blood surrounding him. Screaming for my husband to call 911. It was a nightmare.

A nightmare, as we waited which seemed like an eternity for the ambulance to arrive. The ride to the hospital where I prayed, worshipped and continued to tell my son to talk to me to keep him from passing out.

And yet one of the most terrifying moments of my life became one of the most miraculous seasons we would ever encounter. What seemed like our world crashing in on us, lead to our miracle season.

When it all comes crashing down, it's an opportunity for God to step in and show Himself faithful. When death was knocking on the door, God brought peace, life, hope, favor, healing and blessing. When it all comes crashing down, we rode the waves of faith and set our eyes on Jesus. Miracle after miracle that showed God's perfect timing, faithful hand and constant presence.

Miracle 1:
The ambulance could only drive a certain distance from our home so instead of our first choice hospital, Children's, we ended up at St John Moross. What seemed like a detour, lead to a divine appointment. We waited for the neurologist to arrive to determine the best course of action. Dr. Ham was on call that Sunday night at St. John's but worked at another hospital. And not just any hospital, yes, Children's, and he was the head neurologist on staff! Oh God...Your timing perfect! Your provision faithful. So of course when we explained how we ended up at St John instead of Children's......Miracle one....papers to transfer Ethan to Children's.

Miracle 2:
As Ethan sat in the 1st ER at St John, he was calm, had minimal pain, received no pain medicine and normally with that size of an open wound, they would have attempted to at least close it up to prevent infection even if would have to be reopened later for the skull fracture repair. Yet for what I would say would be a God delay, led to waiting for the doctor's orders. Orders that not only got us transferred to Children's but then to the referral of the best plastic surgeon on staff.

When you ask a doctor, "If this was your child who would you have work on him?", you know you are going to get the best recommendation. And once again, God gave us the best. In our time of need, He lined us up with the dream team for Ethan's care. The head neurologist who performed the surgery, and the best plastic surgeon to stitch up the wound. We never did get a count on the stitches because they described it as a baseball stitch by the way they had to close it.

Yet God showed off because the plastic surgeon performed his last surgery on Ethan before moving back to Canada the following week. Oh God, you astound me! Your timing is perfect!
Miracle 2: Dream team to recovery

Miracle 3:
After a week in the hospital, a week at home, Ethan was able to return to school with no cognitive damage. He didn't have a concussion. He didn't have any neurological damage. My boy was whole. We prayed and believed for minimal scarring. Seven years later unless you knew, you can barely see the scar that goes from his left temple down to his right eyebrow.
Miracle 3....my son not only lives to show the goodness of God, but is a bright, handsome, thriving young man of God!

Oh my God! You saved us when it all came crashing down. As I look back on that season, it felt overwhelming. It was scary. Death was knocking at our door. BUT GOD, You were faithful, and You remain the same yesterday, today and forever. I thank You today that You remain the God who saves us when it all comes crashing down.

Picture with Sir Topham hat, and Ethan had just gotten the yellow Star Wars shirt. So proud to wear and sad when they had to cut it off him in the emergency room. He was so happy when someone regifted him the same shirt during recovery at home.

A picture of our family this past Easter 2016. JESUS the name above all names! Ethan is on the far left no longer wearing Star Wars shirts but growing up to be a fine, young man.

To the Love of My Life....

Happy Birthday to the love of my life

My life was made better

Since becoming your wife

You're gentle, your kind

My sweet, handsome man

Who's always willing

To give others a hand

And yes, you're Dad

To a very large crew

But there is no doubt

All five adore you

The way that you pour 

Your life into them

It's a blessing to see

Our God you've shown them

And you've been my rock

Through every season

My constant companion

My voice of reason

Who's held my hand

Kissed me goodnight

Who's walked through the storms

And the good times in life

So on this day

It seems only fitting

That I speak these words

And tell you my thinking

That you are amazing

You are a star

You have made a difference

Being the person you are

I speak God's blessings

The whole year through

That 2016 would unfold for you

Abundance and health

Prosperity too

That all that you set your hand upon

God will see you through

This is just the beginning

Of your greatest days ahead

Keep your eyes on Jesus

And the promise that He said

That He has a plan

Designed just for you

It's a plan of hope

A plan to prosper you

That you will be a blessing

And people will be amazed

God will be glorified

As you live out your days!

Happy Birthday Michael Flosky

I love and celebrate you!

Counting My Blessings

It may look an ordinary jar. Perhaps a bit too small when you think about what its for, but this represents a journey I took over this past year. This is a thankful jar, my thankful jar, filled with blessings both big and small from 2015. Inspired by a post I saw on Instagram, I set off to the local craft store to find these glass containers for the ladies in my Bible study and myself.

See far too often in life, our focus is on the negative. We can only see what we don't have, where we aren't yet, the struggles, the pain, and we forget to measure the successes, the joys, the blessings and answers to prayer. This jar represented a culture change in my thinking, my way of living, as I began to keep track of all that God has done in my life and in essence, a place to go back to when life is tough. I proudly marked my jar Jubilee as 2015 was declared, a year of personal freedom, a year of restitution of property and year of the simple life. I was excited to embark for what lied ahead.

I have to admit this process of thankfulness started off very slowly. It remained empty for several weeks until I realized I was making this a lot more difficult than necessary. There were no rules when filling the thankful jar. No measure of certain size necessary....just simply what are you thankful for? What blessings have you seen in your life?

From there my jar begin to fill with simple joys, gifts and life events that told the story of my past year. Here are a few of the things that filled my jar in 2015:


A unexpected encouraging note and gift from Sara, a beautiful writing/journal set. What a blessing to have friends that will not only pray with you when you share your heart but also find a way to say I'm supporting what God has called you to do.

Another one read "Blog"....yes almost a year ago I started this personal blog "There Are No Ordinary Days" where I write about my life experiences to share and encourage others on their own personal journey.

Raise....March 2015 I was give a full time pay status at church which included health benefits for my family. What a blessing as my husband was going through a transition of helping his Dad liquidate and sell the family business after over 20 years of working there! God's timing is perfect and that paved the way for our future endeavor later in the year.





Free American Idol tickets....I'm a huge fan of the show and heard they were coming to Detroit to film. Blessed by a friend who posted on Facebook "free tickets!" I believe God gave me the right timing to see her post. First to say "I'll take them!" Those tickets were a hot commodity! My boys and I enjoyed a once in a lifetime opportunity of being a part of the show. We got to see Ryan Seacrest face to face and see the show right at the front of the stage. It was amazing! It was fun, and I was the cool mom who go the boys out of school early!

Finding something that was lost that was precious to me! Faithful
God..... even in the little things God shows He cares!

The list does go on and on, a family cruise with the kids, speaking opportunities, singing live on the TCT show, unexpected inheritance money, areas where we gave and saw how it blessed others. Far too many to list.

Truly, my life is filled with blessings and even as I grabbed pictures on my Instagram roll, I realized there were many that were never written down and put in the jar. My thankful jar is just small measure of the big picture of the hand of God on my life. The every day ordinary things that we forget to include like the gift of life, our freedom, health, a home, a car, food that we expect and forget to give thanks for.

So as we move into 2016, I'm starting this over again. A journey of thankfulness, a journey of blessings. Looking at this new year filled with expectation and thanks to God for all He has in store for my life. I encourage you to do the same. Go grab yourself a jar, begin to jot down what you are thankful for because there are no ordinary days, and there are always blessings coming our way!

Who Doesn't Like to Be Booed?

Last night, I came home late in the evening from my Bible study. There greeting me at the door was a wonderful surprise. A cute, little pumpkin filled with assorted candy, gum and special treats. I was like a kid in a candy shop. I love surprises! I really do. I unlocked the door, dragged my sleeping husband off the couch to take a picture. I then pulled out the note that read:

Who doesn't like to be BOOED? I rummaged through the package looking at all the carefully selected treats and then I realized, "Wait, this isn't for me! Its for the kids." So, I tucked the gift away from finding to reenact the surprise for my children the next morning.


This morning, my alarm sounded at 6:30 AM, and with ease, I jumped out of bed. In great anticipation, I placed the surprise back out on the porch and headed to my kid's rooms to wake them up. One by one, "Its time to get up. I have a surprise for you. Get dressed, get ready, and I'll show you." There was a buzz of excitement brewing through our household this morning, and it was an instant shot of motivation for the early morning rise.


By 7:15 AM, all five were ready and waiting by the front door. Guesses of a new car, vacation, even Grandpa being home early from Africa were offered. I like that my kids think big! The best way I knew to surprise them was having them all close their eyes and count One, Two, THREE….Open!

They screamed in delight. Ethan, our oldest, read the letter to the group, and then I shared the best news of all.  Not only do we get to enjoy all these treats, but we get to BOO someone else. I told them my plan, and their smiles widened.

Who doesn't like to be BOOED!?  I thought about that and took me back to my childhood days when I had a terrible accident on my bike. It was September of 1983, and I was six years old. We were living in Springfield, Virginia at the time at 6777 Turlock Drive. Our house was a butter cream ranch with a walk out basement that lead to a gated backyard. Many great memories of playing on the swing set and the mini playhouse which was once transformed into a snack bar for our neighborhood circus. Those were the days!

Turlock Drive was a steep road that emptied out to a culdesac at the end. Our house was at the perfect start point to ride your bike allowing gravity and momentum to push you to swift speeds requiring very little peddling. I know because I tried it, and one day momentum was not my friend. As I got about half way down the road, I noticed a car pulling out of the driveway ahead. Needing to slow down quickly, I slammed on the brakes of my banana seat bike and went head first over the handle boards. Ouch!!  It was not a pretty site. I landed face first and ended up looking pretty beat up with a large goose egg on the right temple of my forehead and huge scrap down the front of my nose.

 

Thankfully, there were no serious injuries, but kids were pretty cruel at school because I remember being teased saying I had chocolate all over my face. God, however, had a way of bringing some joy to my life during this time. Thirty years later, I can still remember my Mom calling me upstairs. "Carolyn, come here." I met her at the front door where I was instructed to look outside on the porch. There sat a special gift package filled with stickers, pencils, erasers and candy just for me! Oh how my heart danced with glee as a thoughtful neighbor had surprised me. It truly brightened my day, the season, and its funny how all these years later, I can still feel that joyous memory.

So, who doesn't like to be Booed? Everyone needs encouragement in their life, and as I look at how a thoughtful gift, a friend lunch, a needed hug, a welcoming smile, an encouraging word, a favorite Starbuck drink delivered or a pay it forward at the drive-thru can make such an impact on an encouragement deprived society.

Let's boo the socks of each other. Lets be people that are constantly looking for ways to encourage others. So, many times, we wish that it was us being booed, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I do believe the greatest joy comes when we seek out to bless others.

Proverbs 11:25 tells us "A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed." Let's take the BOO challenge. Ask God today who you can encourage and how you should do it. Because after all, "Who doesn't like to be Booed?"

Dear Mom.....I get it

Dear Mom,

Its hard to believe its been four years since we said goodbye. In some ways, it seems like just the other day when we got the call. Words that I wasn't ready to hear, "Its time." As hard as that moment was, I am grateful that I had those last hours to be with you.

Four years has also felt like a lifetime. Days and years that are now void of your presence. Moments that I wish you could share with me as I watch my children grow up. I've learned a lot over these years without you, and I just wanted to say, "I get it".

Just the other day, Bec and I were talking about our busy schedule. Running our kids from here to there, juggling the games, practices and the impossibility of being in more than one place at once. We both agreed we don't know how you did it, but we get it. We now get while you were always carting your laundry around, folding it in the van as you watched the boys played baseball because you didn't want to miss a thing.

We get it after a long day, how many times you were doing this all on your own while Dad was out to sea. No wonder there were days your patience ran low. We get it. Oh do I get as a mom, some days I just feel spent. I think I'm still adjusting to the fact that I'm actually an adult, a wife, a mother. No one actually handed me the adult card. It seems surreal sometimes as I watch my children growing up. I've learned so much from your example, and I get it.

I get now why you would stay up way into the wee hours to catch up on the housework. I often find myself doing the same because waking up the next morning with an edge on the next day feels much better than pots in the sink and the piles of laundry. I've taken on some your habits like emptying the trash far too often, but I rarely pick up lint. And I'm no where near the laundry folder like you were!

I get it now why many times your vacations became road trips to visit family and friends. We moved around for so many years, and there is something nostalgic and wonderful about going back to see our old homes, schools and friends from past days. I've enjoyed too reliving the memories as now I am getting older.

This year, I had my 20 year class reunion, and went back to the Cape. What fun to see classmates from some many years ago and catch up. I enjoyed taking Mike by my old high school, Snake Pond, Osterville Baptist Church but couldn't get on the base to see our house. We spent the day with Yvonne and her family too. 

And just the other day, I got a text from Meredith as the Floskys were at Disney World. You know my friend, Sherida, from 5th grade?! She recognized my in-laws at the park. Meredith sent over a picture asking if I recognized this face. All because of my Facebook posts. Can you believe it? Twenty-eight years later? I was jealous I personally didn't get to see her, but Disney sure got it right "Its a small world after all!"

I get it now why you baked the pumpkin bread every year, pretzel rings at Christmas and those gooey-bars. Such enjoyment to see the family so delighted to smell it baking in the oven. You'll be happy to know that your pumpkin bread is the grandkids favorite!

I get it now why you learned when you were sick to finally ask for help, let people in and ask for forgiveness. Life is too short to carry grudges and not build relationships. I'm working to get those things right, Mom.

And Mom, I finally get how much of a staple you were in our lives. Our family has not been the same without you. All the little Joanne-isms are things I now delight to see in myself and my children. I appreciate your ability to be so organized and multi-task. I have recognized that was a gift you passed down to me. We may not have always appreciated you untying our shoelaces, but I get it. I have a lead foot like you when I drive, but I still don't think I could ever walk as fast as you. Although, I'm enjoying a lot more walks these days. Its been good for the soul.

I see how the little things you did like folding our laundry, dropping off junk mail and dancing to your favorite song were your joys. We still have dance parties from time to time, and I miss having you as my dance partner. I get why having your family over to enjoy a meal even if you didn't actually sit down to eat with us (well sometimes you did when we told you to) were your ways of showing you loved us.

So, I'm sorry that its taken me so long to get it. But oh I see it now, and I'm grateful for the years that I had on this earth with you, the legacy you left for my family and the hope that you shared with me in Jesus. I can't imagine what you are experiencing right now in heaven. But I get it....that I will see you one day. That my hope and rest comes from having Jesus in my heart. Only He has gotten me through these years without you.

Finally, I get it....that life is but a breathe. Its just a fleeting moment. So, I'm living to make every moment count. I get it. You lived and taught me that. I miss you. I love you and forever you will be cherished in our hearts. Until we meet again...

Your Grateful Daughter,
Carolyn 


 Our last family vacation with Mom...summer of 2011 Story Book Land


Mom's Pumpkin bread was a must bake this week, and an all time comfort food in this house. The tradition lives on.